Thoughts About Psychics and Judges
Recently, I posted about why requiring someone have a ‘need’ for your problem-solving service creates a challenge for anyone you might ask to refer you to them.
Because most people who may need or want the benefits of your services:
- aren’t easy to spot — like who has high blood pressure? — often the person themselves doesn’t even know they have a problem, right? And,
- aren’t likely to tell others they need or want the beneficial difference you can make in their life
This is why, if you’re seeking referrals from someone, you want to avoid putting your ‘source’ in a position where they need to be psychic or judgmental about someone who may be a truly qualified prospect for you and your services.
Why not psychic?
Because, as I just cited, most people who might need or want your services aren’t easy to identify. Since most people aren’t mind-readers, it makes most people unable to refer you to others — even if they’d like to do so.
Why not judgmental?
Because most people don’t like to judge others — especially people they know — as somehow being ‘not right’ or even ‘broken’ in some way.
To be your client, someone must be ‘not right’ in some way or you’ll be of no use and value to them.
And most of what’s ‘not right’ is usually difficult to discern, socially awkward to admit and, difficult to ‘judge’ someone as having a need to fix.
Think of the divorce attorney who’s asking, in effect, “Do you know someone whose marriage is in the toilet?” Or, the coach who asks, in effect, “Do you know someone whose business is failing?” Or, the financial advisor who asks, in effect, “Do you know anyone who’s made a mess of their financial affairs?”. Judging others as qualified for you can be sheer Hell for them!
And, even if they do know (or, think they know) someone like that . . . what are the chances they’ll tell you that that person needs your problem-solving service/s if they’d be hard-pressed to explain why they’re referring you? Answer: they won’t.
Asking your referral source/s, “Do you know someone who NEEDS or WANTS the beneficial difference I can create for a client?” is highly problematic because most referral sources either a) don’t know, or b) aren’t comfortable judging someone they know as needing your service/s.